More snow? SO RUDE

Real Estate isn’t quite as spacious where I’m headed. It’s still very cute, though.

Who told mother nature it was okay to dump more snow on me? I thought we’d left the snow behind us for the season. I even wore flip-flops yesterday.

I want the sunshine back.

I’m still looking for an apartment in the new city. This new city I’m moving to is a lot more expensive than the one I am presently living in. My rent is going to increase and I’ll likely have 1/3 of the space in my new place. I’m nervous about downsizing for more money. I’m always nervous about money. As an adult, does that feeling ever go away? Maybe if you’re Elon Musk. I guess for us normal folk it’s likely something we always worry about. At least I hope I’m not alone with these thoughts constantly running through my mind. It’s not like I cannot afford things. I just kind of wish there was a little more money left over for rainy days than there will be. Does that make sense?

They should’ve warned me about feelings like these when I was a kid.

I think my general fears about regular adult things have to do with my imposter syndrome. Spending as much time as I have working through past and present trauma the last few months, I’ve learned that a lot of my issues are rooted in my own insecurities and imposter syndrome. While I go through moments of feeling like a badass, I would say more often than not, I find myself feeling not good enough for most things and people. Sad, I know.

One more thing before I go – If anyone has a medium.com account, let me know and I’ll follow you on the site. Right now my ‘for you page’ is less than stellar. I might as well fill it with people who’s thoughts I enjoy reading.

32 thoughts on “More snow? SO RUDE

  1. Happy spring? Some day, hopefully. Snow expected here today. Just so you know, the imposter thing has been with me for most of my life. When I got my graduate degrees, I was sure someone would find out that I wasn’t smart enough to earn them. Every time I stood in front of a class, teaching statistics, I prayed that no-one would ask a question that was more advanced than our textbook. When I won a teaching award, I was sure there had been a mistake. You aren’t alone!

    Have I mentioned how pleased I am about what you’re doing? You’re going to be fine. Will you be able to find a doctor in you new city?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for sharing this. Reading your story gives me so much comfort knowing I’m not alone. Not that I want to celebrate your imposter syndrome. It’s just nice to know that I’m not the only person who struggles with it.

      As for the doctor, I’m not sure yet. I think my doctor here is going to prescribe me a full year worth of meds so I can buy those before I go. We’ll see.

      Like

  2. Less space…less cleaning! There is always a positive to be found…almost always anyway. As for worrying about money….I have done it all my life. I was brought up to only buy what I could afford and I was never comfortable carrying loans. Sounds like you’re the same. It’s not bad to be aware but worrying can be annoying. I also never felt good enough but I don’t think you should feel that way as clearly you are very good at what you do.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for sharing. Yeah, I think I am a lot like you in that I always worry about money. I have since as far back as I can remember. My mom always took me grocery shopping as a kid (only daughter) and I remember her teaching me to budget when I was in Kindergarten and lower-primary. It’s just what it is for people like us.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Money issues will follow you if you live above or up to your means. At some point you need to live below, so you can build up a nest egg. I remember when I first got go the place where I had no debt (I allowed car and house debt only after that.) It was true freedom. Those skills have allowed me to go into an early semi-retirement, after drastically removing all the things in my life that were unnecessary. My total expenses now are easily met, even if the writing gigs aren’t paying off.

    As for imposter syndrome, learn to appreciate who you are becoming. I finally decided I like me and other opinions don’t matter. That’s essential because there will always be someone who wants to build themselves up at your expense – if you let them.

    Best wishes on all the changes! I have followed you on Medium. Follow me back at https://kimmckinney719.medium.com.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I followed you back! I didn’t realize I had any followers yet.

      As for the rest of your comment – great advice. I think that’s going to be my goal when I get through all of this legal stuff. I just need a little reprieve so I can go back to saving!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I wasn’t even your first follower, but I think I was the second. Great first article, by the way. If you need any Medium tips, let me know. It’s not my #1 platform, but I may get more aggressive there.

        It’s worth the investment to live only in the now. I definitely started from the bottom – I made next to nothing in my early days out of college. Thankfully I made some good decisions and took some good advice. I’ll never be rich, but I am comfortable. I don’t panic when they tell me I need new tires for my car, like I used to.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I would love any tips you could provide me. I’ve been putting off writing on medium for over a year out of fear that my writing isn’t good enough. But now, I’ve convinced myself I need to give it a try.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh heavens, some folks can’t write a coherent sentence (and that’s people with English as their first language.) There are all levels there. It’s an amazing, supportive community, though. I don’t necessarily like the business model (OK, I truly question their business minds), but it does get your work out there. I’ve definitely learned a lot writing there and made awesome writing friends.

        Get in the Facebook groups and promote your articles. Also read the work of others and comment as you feel led. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, most of the readers are writers. But you’ll want to get your followers up so you can get paid.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Ugh. Snow. I have to drive to work and I get anxiety driving to work. It’s worse when there’s snow. It’s supposed to be 18C by Wednesday which is hard to believe. I still struggle with imposter syndrome and I think that’s normal for anyone who is trying to succeed. If you’re not nervous or anxious about work, then you’re doing something wrong lol

    It’s weird that I don’t worry about money. I’m frugal yes, but it helps me save because I’m not spending if that makes sense. And if I do need money, I will work more, pick up more shifts etc. I tell myself that the money is there and that it’s abundant. I’m not wealthy by any means but I’m the wealthiest I’ve ever been. 10 years ago I only had $200 in my bank account and I never want to go back there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I’ve worried about money my whole life. I think it stems from when I was a kid and there were some really tough times in my family. I just always want money in my account ‘just in case’.

      As for +18, I am happy to hear that. BRING ON SPRING!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A lot of our fears and insecurities stem from our childhood. My mom used to tell me that she didn’t have money but my parents would buy things like an Audi A6 and a French baby yacht. They weren’t rich but ppl thought we were and they treated me differently which sucked. I didn’t have many friends growing up. My parents always had some kind of debt. It was normal for them to have $60K of debt at any given time. My parents tried to live a life that they couldn’t afford to impress people they didn’t even like 🙄

        I much rather live debt free and be frugal. It’s always a good idea to have an emergency savings of some kind, even if it’s just a few grand for “just in case.” 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. The bottom is a washer and the top is a dryer.

      They started making them stackable like that a few years back because it saves a lot of space, especially in small spaces like I’m looking for in a city condo.

      It’s definitely a North American thing to have a dryer. I know they’re not standard everywhere but they’re pretty standard here.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Funny this was posted around the beginning of spring. Yes, more snow, because that’s the most infuriating thing that could happen, as always.

    I’m perpetually scared of inflation. Knowing that each step up in money is met by the general increase of everything else. Sure you get pay raises here and there but if it’s less than inflation it’s basically a pay cut. It seems impossible to get anywhere in life, at least with money/wealth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m not scared of inflation, but it sucks. I completely agree with you – pay raises don’t match inflation and it’s getting harder and harder to keep up with the way of the world and how much it costs to just live. It’s depressing.

      Like

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