I would very much like to be excluded from this mess.

There’s a really long story about what’s happening in my personal life right – a long story that I am trying really hard to not bitch about online, so please don’t ask for context. A lot of what’s happening in my personal life is why this blog was set to private for the majority of February, and will likely go too and from private status over the next several months.

My vehicle is in the possession of an ex-boyfriend. He is refusing to return it to me.

Every day that it is not returned, the vehicle is costing me more and more money – both in the fact that I’m still making payments on it, despite not having it in my possession, as well as the fact that I have to make alternate arrangements to get around.

If there’s some chance that said ex-boyfriend reads this, I would very much like to be excluded from this mess, one that I never wanted to be a part of in the first place. I didn’t ask for this. I don’t deserve this. You’re being exceptionally cruel.

Return my vehicle to me, please.

I’m not going to beg. I definitely don’t want to fight. You’re not worth my time, anyway. I want my vehicle returned. Picking up the pieces of the mess you’ve made is rather difficult when you’re holding me hostage in this complete and utter chaos. Give me back my car and let me move on with my life.

24 thoughts on “I would very much like to be excluded from this mess.

      1. Don’t be sorry. It’s just not something that I have the power to decide the answer to and providing context might provide a little too much detail.

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      2. Ha. This is the minefield of whether or not to admit anything about a complex situation, right? Anything except all the details just raises a million seemingly-innocuous questions, which the ridiculous situation has made absurdly difficult to answer. Hence why it’s a stupid nightmare. Technicalities and inexplicable motivations acting together…there aren’t satisfying answers.

        Man just this snippet of what you have revealed is so horrible and stupid though, and the fact this all kicked off simultaneously with starting that new job you were excited about, too. It’s insane. I look forward to you having the eventual relief of being able to write about it all.

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      3. There’s a lot more to this story, definitely – a lot that I have to wait until it goes through proper legal channels right now – unless he magically decides to come to his senses and just give it back to me and save both of us the legal fees.

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  1. I would suggest you report the vehicle as stolen. If he’s not using it, then at present you just have the cost and inconvenience of not having transport. If he is using it and is involved in any form of accident, you might be on the hook as it’s registered in your name.

    You might also want to check you don’t have him on your insurance (a possibility if Canadian driving insurance works like it does in the UK).

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    1. I’ve been informed that ‘implied consent’ applies due to the fact that I once dated him in my life – could’ve been two weeks ago, could’ve been twenty years ago, doesn’t matter – he’s allowed to have it in his possession.

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  2. I believe you can terminate your consent and report it stolen, so long as you indicate to your ex that they no longer have your consent to use your vehicle and also tell the police this. Don’t know if you want to go down that road, just saying it’s an option.

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    1. I have attempted to go down that road. Implied consent carries in Canada whether I dated him two weeks ago or twenty years ago. Which was a glaringly large hole in the law and something that’ll likely impact my decisions for the rest of my life. If dating someone once, years ago, offers them claim to my stuff until the end of time, I’ll think twice before I ever date someone again.

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      1. That’s exactly what it’s like. It’s a system set up to force people into civil disputes in the legal channels, rather than being able to just… get their stuff back.

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      2. Okay yeah I’m getting a lot of different answers from my friends on this one, but they all agree that you can absolutely withdraw your consent on something. If you called the police already they might have dismissed it as a civil matter, but if you keep pushing, you should be able to get consent revoked. Whether or not your ex gets in trouble for taking your car is a grey area. At least you should be able to get it back this way. I’ll keep checking but if you own the car, then you can definitely rescind your consent.

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  3. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. I’m a little familiar with implied consent, and I’m really surprised it’s being used in this way, especially after you’ve revoked consent. It sounds like a gross oversimplification of the law that’s screwing you and helping your ex. What does your lawyer have to say?

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    1. I don’t really want to say too much of what my lawyer is saying – largely because I think he (my ex) reads here. The legal system is definitely protecting him at present, and it’s costing me a lot – not just in car payments and added transportation expenses, but in legal fees. It’s really unfortunate that it all has to come to this.

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      1. Makes sense. Still maddening that implied consent is being used this way. I’m sure you’re all riled up, but you come across as so controlled. I’d be taking a baseball bat to someone’s knees and skull. I admire your restraint.

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    1. While I’m sure this is meant tongue’n’cheek, I just want to point out that no one will be stealing any vehicles… even if it does belong to me and should be back in my possession.

      Either he will be giving it back to me on his own, or the legal system will return it to me.

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