I’m really struggling.

Life is expensive.

Despite my vehicle having been repossessed more than a month ago, I am still making payments on it. This, of course, is increasingly stressful due to the fact that I am not presently working and have been having to scrounge up money every second week to ensure I don’t go into overdraft when the payments come out. I need $200 by Friday and I don’t know where I’m going to get it from.

When will I stop paying for this? I don’t fucking know. No one can give me a fucking answer.

Do not trust your information in the hands of someone who does not deserve it. Please, please, please. You do not want to wind up in a position like that which I presently find myself in.

I just do not know how to remove myself from this situation. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, nothing has gotten better for eight months now. What can I do?

As of Thursday last week, I was supposed to have two job interviews today. Yesterday, one of them got moved to next week, and as of today, the other got moved to next week. Because Employers really don’t value the time of job seekers and it’s pissing me off.

People in my family have learned that I am taking anti-depressants and they’re now looking at me like I am some sort of sad, wounded bird who needs to be babysat. This, of course, is my worst nightmare, as I like living alone, I like being alone and there are very few people (by my count only three) that I actually allow or want up in my business all day every day. Nevertheless, they’re hostile babysitting is making me even more stressed and agitated than I already was about my present life situation.

How do people start over? Really, how does it happen? I want to know because I want to do it and I don’t want to be stressed anymore.

My current headache with the legal system

I need a very specific answers.

Party A: My lawyer, the only person I will describe, charges $375 per hour.

Me to Party A: Can you help me get the very specific answers I need, for this legal scenario?

Party A: I cannot as I am due in court all week. I can have another lawyer at the firm do it. Their rate is $495/hour.

Me to Party A: I do not want to involve another lawyer in this at the moment, so I will do my best to hunt down answers for when you’re done with court.

Me to Party B: Can you help me?

Party B: Call Party C.

Me to Party C: Can you help me?

Party C: No, Party B is the only one who can help you with that.

Me to Party C: Party B told me that you have to help me with this.

Party C: They were wrong.

Me to Party B: I was told to call Party C, so I did. They told me only Party B has access to the information that I need, so I am calling back.

Party B: No ma’am, I cannot help you.

Me to Party B: What can I do?

Party B: I already told you, call Party C.

Me to Party B: THEY TOLD ME THEY WILL NOT HELP ME AND CANNOT HELP ME.

Party B: Ma’am, do not raise your voice at me. I told you what you need to do, if you don’t like that answer, that’s your prerogative.

Party B Hangs up.

I decide to call Party D to beg for help.

Me to Party D: Can you help me?

Party D: Please call Party B.

Me to Party D: I have. They have told me they will not help me.

Party D: What are you trying to find out?

Me to Party D: [Explains a small fraction of the lengthy headache I’ve been dealing with for eight months]

Party D: Yes, you need to call Party B.

Me to Party D: And when they tell me that they cannot, and will not help me?

Party D: Ma’am, I am not sure what you’re looking for from me, I cannot help you.

Me to Party D: I need someone, anyone, who’s willing to help.

Party D: Than call Party B.

Me to Party D: Can you please call them with me on the line and explain the situation, so we can try and find someone to help? They’re not listening to me and I have a hope that with you on the phone, they might be more inclined to listen.

Party D: Ma’am, that’s not my job. You need to call them.

Feeling defeated.

Decided to call Party E.

Me to Party E: Hello. I’ve been trying to call Party B, C and D and I cannot get anyone to help me.

Party E: Ahh, well you should be calling Party F.

Me to Party E: Who is Party F? I have not heard of them involved in this scenario yet.

Party E: Trust me ma’am, they will be able to help. If not, call back to Party B.

Party E hangs up.

Decided to call Party F.

Me to Party F: Can you please help me?

Party F: New phone, who dis?

PARTY E GAVE ME THE WRONG PHONE NUMBER.

Call Party B back to beg for assistance.

Party B: Ma’am, you need to stop harassing this office.

Me to Party B: Please, I am not harassing anyone, I am just looking for, and begging for help. Please, is there someone there, anyone there, who can help me?

Party B hangs up.

And that’s how I spent the last six hours of my life.

Blogging on Medium

Consider joining Medium.com. If you join medium using the link I’ve provided here, I can earn a small commission for bringing you to the website. Furthermore, if you read my stories on medium, each time you read them, I am provided a few cents for you reading the stories.

In June I made $49 USD for writing on Medium. It is my goal to continue topping the previous month’s earnings each month, and to do that, I will need to promote myself.

Also, if you join Medium, you too can earn money writing on the website. The requirement for joining their partner program, so that your posts earn income when people read them, is to have 100 followers. We can absolutely promote each other’s platforms on medium here on WordPress to try and help you reach 100 followers.

Just consider it.

It’s a great way for us to support each other. You post something you would normally post on WordPress, and when people read it on Medium, you’re paid a few cents per view. $49 might not seem like much for a month, but the thing is, all of my previous stories will continue earning money as I continue posting on the platform. It’s worth considering signing up.

And if you do sign up, sign up with my link!

Pro-Life? More like pro-patriarchy

I’ve got opinions today, and if you don’t want to hear them, please feel free to leave my blog.

The pro-life movement is only pro-life when it comes to controlling women and the decisions that women make.

  • Guns are more important than protecting children’s lives when it comes to mass shootings that consistently happen in the USA
  • Not wearing a mask was more important than wearing a mask, when scientists, doctors and every fucking health organization on earth said that a tiny piece of cloth over your nose and mouth could help prevent the spread of COVID and save lives
  • The death penalty is still fucking allowed in the United States
  • People don’t give a damn about the millions of immigrants trying to come to the United States for a better life (often losing their lives in the process). It makes international news when they’re kept in cages, and referred to as ‘dirty aliens’, the children are separated from their parents, and so on and so forth

The pro-life movement is not about life at all, it’s about controlling women and furthering the patriarchy.

If the pro-life movement were actually about being pro-life,

  • Child support would begin at the moment of conception. You have sex? Time to pay child-support
  • Universal health care would be available to all citizens of the United States, but especially to women, who are largely the sole carriers of all burdens associated with pregnancy
  • There would be social service benefits for all women who give birth, whether or not they choose to keep their child. Let’s give women funding, so they can have help with the very real toll that it takes on a woman’s body to give birth. Let’s strengthen employment laws to ensure that no woman’s career would have to suffer if she does become pregnant and give birth
  • While we’re at it, let’s prioritize school lunch programs, so kids don’t have to go hungry
  • Don’t stop there, either. Let’s talk about prisoner reform, and the programs that can be launched to help former convicts back into society, or those who need to/should stay in prison, what can we do to improve their living conditions? WHY, WHY, WHY are there so many prisoners in the United States who aren’t allowed to vote? Why aren’t they given proper nutrition and medical care?
  • Let’s promote education, making it free, or if not free, more accessible to everyone in the United States, and not just those who were born into a life of privilege
  • Let’s be done with the death penalty
  • Let’s ensure the 2SLGBTQIA+ NEVER has to worry about their rights to marry, privacy and so much more being stripped from them.(Something they should’ve had all along, by the fucking way)
  • Let’s talk about EQUALITY. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. Because people who are pro-life, should be wanting to ensure that children brought into this world are able to grow up in safe neighbourhoods with low crime rates, good education systems, and all of the privileges afforded to the children of the men and women of the SCOTUS who just forced this unholy hell on hundreds of millions of people. It’s easy for them to pretend life is hunky dory when their children will never have to face adversity in their lives.

And to the stupid its all over the internet spewing “Don’t abort your baby, we’ll adopt it”,

  • There are more than 400,000 children in the United States in foster care without a family or stable home life, and many more who are homeless, why haven’t you adopted any of those babies? Or does a fetus’ life only matter up until a woman has given birth?

One last thing,

If you don’t like abortion – don’t fucking get one.

The United States political system is a fucking joke. The pro-life movement isn’t pro life at all. They’re pro CIS, white-male dominance.

Fin.

Hello from earth

As of right now, I owe just over $60,000 in debts towards multiple places. Please, please, please don’t trust the wrong people. When it comes to yourself and your future, don’t give anyone access to your information or your finances. I might sound crazy in saying that, but I did not use $60,000 worth of anything.

I’m not too sure how I’m going to start over with this continually looming over my head. It doesn’t matter how many payments, nothing seems to fix this.

I have two social insurance numbers. How does one get two social insurance numbers? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. How do I get to the bottom of this? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. Who did this? If I were to guess, I’d suggest it’s the same person who is now the reason why I am so indebted to the whole fucking planet. The second profile has their address on it… an address I never lived at.

Do not put your trust in someone who doesn’t deserve it.

I just don’t know what to do about this right now. It feels like it’s never going to end.

Sometimes the road less travelled is the road best left behind…

I am leaving Alberta this week.

When I came to this province two years ago, I had such high hopes for the future I would build for myself here. Truth be told, I desperately wanted to be able to call this city home. It never really felt like that, though. Vancouver has always been my home.

Throughout the past two years, there were friendships made and friendships lost. There were some good times, some great times, some moments I will always remember and many moments I wish I could forget. I worked hard, really hard. At times harder than I thought was possible. I’m actually quite proud of how hard I’ve worked while here. I’ve had between 2-3 jobs at once throughout the past two years. Quite frankly, working hard is the reason I was actually able to survive the past eight months.

I’m leaving Alberta and I am not sad about it.

There’s something better for me, somewhere better in this world.

Conversations I’ve had with recruiters this week

Because job hunting can never be boring.

Recruiter: Why did you apply for a job with us?
What I said: I have heard great things about your agency and wanted to further my career by joining your talented team of strategists.
What I wanted to say: Because I like money and you pay money in exchange for work.


Recruiter: So where do we fit into your career plans?
What I said: The fact that your company markets and ships internationally would allow me to better grow my understanding of how different cultures affect what marketing tactics are needed. I would love the opportunity to grow and thrive in a truly international scaled business.
What I wanted to say: Since I was a little girl, it’s always been a dream of mine to sell industrial valves and gaskets.


Recruiter: I think that you would love working here. We’re all so close, it’s like working in a big family.
What I said: Terrific! I love the sound of that!
What I wanted to say: I’m so sorry! I just threw up a little in my mouth when I heard that.


Recruiter: Salary is dependent on experience.
What I said: So, based on my experience, what would you provide in salary?
Recruiter: We can definitely have a conversation about that at a later date?
What I wanted to say: Why are you so afraid to provide the truth about what you’re willing to pay for this position? Is the salary shit?


Recruiter: Culture is important to us.
What I said: Oh for me too!
What I wanted to say: I totally get it. Managers love control, and if a candidate looks like they can be easily controlled, I’m sure they’re way more attractive as a candidate than such a strong-willed, smart-ass like me.


Recruiter: So, we really think you’re fantastic, but unfortunately you don’t have the professional experience necessary to fill this role.
What I said: I totally get it, thank you so much for your time and keep me in mind when you’re looking for people in future, please!
What I wanted to say: You’ve had my resume for two and a half weeks. At no point in that time did you actually consider reading my resume to see how many years of professional experience I have? Could’ve saved us a lot of fucking time, no?


Recruiter: We’ll be in touch.
What I said: Fantastic! When do you think?
Recruiter: We’ll be in touch when we’re ready?
What I said: When?
Recruiter: We’ll have to work through some things and look at the paperwork and we’ll be in touch.
What I wanted to say: So… never?


Recruiter: Can you tell us your greatest weakness?
What I said: Well, I could, but given this is a job interview and I’m trying to impress you, that wouldn’t be very smart.
Recruiter: We won’t hold it against you.
What I wanted to say: Then why are you asking?


Recruiter: You seem under-qualified for this role.
What I said: What I lack in qualifications I make up for in a willingness to learn and a passion to work hard.
What I wanted to say: Then why are you wasting my time?


Recruiter: You seem overqualified for this role.
What I said: Well thank you for saying that. I work hard.
What I wanted to say: I am. You better hire me quick before I find someone who truly values my worth.

Today things

This week I’ve been watching my former boss make national news as they testify about a sexual assault that they helped to cover-up.

A few years back I shared on this blog about how I was provided with a HEFTY severance from a former employer. The boss who provided me that hefty severance is the individual testifying about a sexual assault that they helped cover-up.

When I talk about the toxic work environments that I’ve come from, and why I won’t tolerate bullshit from anyone, it’s for a reason. I saw and heard about a lot of things in my 20s that were hidden from the public. There are a lot of things that I am not legally allowed to speak about – things that I could be sued for speaking about.

Watching this testimony today all I can suggest is that that which is done in darkness will always be brought to light. Eventually, the truth catches up to everyone. In the case of my former boss, this is likely to be the first of many dominos they’ll be testifying about.

That is all.

Faaaaack

On Monday I had a job interview with a really fantastic company. They asked me for a second interview. In the email that I was sent, they said the second interview would be on Wednesday. In the invitation they sent for an interview, the date was Thursday.

Somehow these people all got in a call this morning, while I was thinking that tomorrow was my interview date.

When I sent the invitation for Thursday back to the HR individual she said “I cancelled that” with no other text in the email. Perhaps I’m reading tone to that, but damn, I didn’t invite myself to a meeting on Thursday. You know who doesn’t get cancellations for Microsoft Teams meetings? PEOPLE USING GMAIL AND NOT MICROSOFT TEAMS.

I’m so bummed. They offered to reschedule, but I’m sensing tone in the emails the woman is sending me. I didn’t invite myself to Thursday, but I have a feeling no one else is going to hear that.

😦